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Friendly Neighborhood Vot
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 Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:16 am Post subject: WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008 |
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"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
21 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Wereo! For not only exposing your kookery in a court
of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have
shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity.
Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the
archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved
the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most
esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement
in kookery.
We (TINW) now present, for your viewing pleasure, the only man that
matters on USENET--WEREO!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
06 votes Anthony X AKA "Sir Tony Baloney"
02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton,"
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Lamie! The "tard"iness of this report is at least
partially due to you, not only because of your being USENET>s notorious
spamtard, but because the FNVW spent two weeks racking racking his brain
trying to think of 13 unique things to say about you. That, along with
the original report being lost when the FNVW>s outbox became corrupted,
contributed to this report coming out two weeks late. Fluffy was not
pleased, and neither was I.
What, you thought you were going to sit down? Hardly. You>re "Not
Dead Yet" for there are 12 more awards with your name on them, so stand
right here.
"Not Dead Yet" from Spamalot
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vBz_WS6CdWc
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...MAXWELL!
10 votes Maxwell
08 votes Patriot Games
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Maxwell! Your lits o' haet including many different
people as "sockpuppets of Bertie" and your inability to distinguish
between fr0gging and forging, along with your continued whining and
utter inability to deal with a notorious troll (and Bertie is notorious,
especially in New Zealand!), earned you this award over someone who
cried "censorship" when he couldn>t see his own articles because of
propagation issues. See you in January, when you>ll be on the ballot
for Clueless Newbie of the Year!
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
20 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
04 votes Is Ken Darian
04 votes Raymond Karczewski
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Spamtard! Your persistent legal threats,
bogus DMCA takedowns, attempts to get others to do your dirty work, and
running away from tough questions won you this prize. Now, watch your
role model, Brave Sir Robin, and learn some style points from him.
"Brave Sir Robin" from Spamalot
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AShveV6I_EA
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
09 votes Brad Guth
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Lamie! My policy is to only allow someone
to run for both Kook of the Month and Looney Maroon on the same ballot
if they are an exceptionally strong candidate and are also exceptionally
looney. Your sweeping of all 13 categories for which you were nominated
this month confirmed the wisdom of allowing you to contest both awards.
The Knights of the Round Table from Spamalot would be proud of you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBR_HsCfNxo
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...GREGVK!
16 votes gregvk
09 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, gregvk/jitter/malscribe/purpurroterwald! Flaming
someone by wishing them ovarian cancer, among other lamery, has earned
you this distinction of being worthy of being ignored by everyone on
USENET.
JOSEPH BARTLO MEMORIAL PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...GREGVK!
19 votes gregvk
09 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, again, Greggie poo! Your schtick may go over really
well on Something Awful, 4Chan, or Encyclopedia Dramatica, but on AUK,
it>s merely pathetic. In fact, it>s so pathetic that you will
eventually be thrown into the Galactic Killfile for it. When that will
happen is for me to know, and for you not to find out.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
07 votes Raymond Karczewski
02 votes dvus
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, again, Spanktard! This is your first repeat win of an
AUK award, fittingly, for being completely spanked by NANAE and whoever
on AUK was also participating. Now, make like King Arthur and the
Knights of the Round Table and "RUN AWAY!"
"Run Away" from Spamalot
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GA7IDKWoz2o
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
08 votes Raymond Karczewski
01 votes Babaloonie
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Dramatard! Ridiculous ranting? Check. Unprovoked
meltdowns? Check. Operatic flouncing? Check. Threatening to leave
USENET forever, preferably several times a week? We (TINW) could only
hope. In the meantime, here is another role model of yours; she might
teach you something.
"Diva>s Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)" from Spamalot
http://youtube.com/watch?v=u9VMImm_61Y
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A!
"Photon Degradation" by Double-A
20 votes YES
00 votes NO
Congratulations, Double-A! It looks like all the weird science thrown
around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. It was
only a matter of time.
DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY!
12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky
09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, John-Boy! Your original revisionism about the
Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated
reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to
say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother
being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. All that
was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" Yes, it will,
but not because of revisionists like you.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton"
00 votes Neither of the above
Further congratulations to you, Lamie! Your multiple crusades, but
especially your campaign against aioe, have attracted the attention of
NANAE and AUK and earned you this award. Did you get that aioe user
banned? No? You did, however, give the admin of aioe an opportunity to
show that he has balls and integrity, which is one of the reasons that
I>m now accepting ballots from that site, when a few months ago, I
shredded them on sight. That>s a "victory" just like The Black
Knight>s!
The Black Knight from Spamalot.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=k2jYtRTEaNI
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...THE RAMD ASSWIPE BRIGADE!
12 votes The RAMD Asswipe Brigade
09 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Post-Show Parking Lot Brawlers! Your continued
attempts to "plonk the filth" didn>t chase any outsiders away from your
home froup. Instead, it got you cascade after cascade mocking your
efforts. Oh, your work also got you a victory over a big-name kook--the
biggest award winner of the past three years, in fact. That>s quite the
accomplishment (1993 Star of Indiana golf clap for all of you).
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
06 votes Ed Conrad
01 votes Neither of the above
Sincere congratulations to you for this one, Spamtard. Not only did you
have to prove that you had cleared the high bar of being a "terminally
clueless crusader" that everyone in your home group would like to see
run out of town on a rail, you handily defeated, in his third attempt at
this award, one of the few people I know who really was run out of a
USENET group on a rail, Ed "Coalbrain" Conrad, whose kookery is even
more legendary than yours.
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
13 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
12 votes gregvk
07 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Is Ken Darien
Congratulations yet again! It>s only appropriate that someone whose
most common nickname is "Lamie" should win the award for "the lamest of
the lame on USENET." Yes, Jamie, that>s you.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
25 votes YES
03 votes NO
Congratulations, Spamtard! Your eye-glazing screeds that you call
"abuse reports" really do say the least possible with the most text.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
15 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
14 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations Lamie! Of course, you had an unfair advantage with this
award. The criterion is that you had to demonstrate that you lost more
marbles than a Chinese Checker factory. Well, there is some doubt you
ever had those marbles in the first place!
BALSA GAVEL
The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
21 votes YES
00 votes NO
Congratulations, again, Mr. Lifshine! For suing someone that you met
over the Internet about your pet kooky project, you have managed to earn
not only the highest honor AUK gives out for kookery, but one of the
rarest awards AUK gives out. After all, it>s a special breed who
actually sues over someone thwarting their USENET obsession.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE, TRAINED BY GARY BURNORE!
21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie, trained by Gary Burnore.
05 votes Maxwell, trained by Bertie the Bunyip
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Gary, for your training of Lamie! This makes two
kooks, Dimmy and now Lamie, that are at your beck and call. They
certainly make for a wonderfully loony matched set!
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is..."WE NEED A NEW FNVW"!
"We need a new FNVW" by Pope Snarky, Pinku-Sensei, and Art Deco
16 votes YES
04 votes NO
Congratulations, Snarky and Art! You two did a wonderful job of making
lemonade out of lemons and then getting the kooks and kookologists to
drink it!
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
16 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
09 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
05 votes Brad Guth
Congratulations, Dramatard! By winning this office, you not only beat
out another notorious whiner, but you made yourself eligible for yet
another annual award--The Bardley Annual Whining Baby New Year--to go
along with Rookie Kook of the Year, Kook of the Year, and Coward of the
Year. If you have a website, you would also be eligible for the
kooksite of the year award, too.
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
04 votes Charles Lysaght
Congratulations for the final time this month, Lamie! You handily
defeated one of the most notoriously and entertainingly idiotic posters
to USENET, the infamous Chuckles Lysaght, capping off an election in
which you have probably won more awards in a single month than any other
kook in AUK history. While some might decry this as piling on, your
history of kookery and idiocy on the Internet goes back 15 years, so a
good case can be made that this is merely catching up for lost time.
Besides, you can look on the bright side--there are still more awards
you can win!
"Always Look at the Bright Side of Life" from Spamalot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qukfTiqyR8
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
15 votes Alexa Cameron
07 votes John Wentzky
Cpngratulations, Alexa! You handily defeated this month>s winner of the
Doogie Rant Medal for Historical Revisionism to held on to your office
for spreading misinformation. Your reputation for misinformation is now
legend.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD!
11 votes Big-8 Management Board
08 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
07 votes The Gun Nutz of misc.survivalism and talk.politics.guns
02 votes Nazicowards of soc.culture.israel
Congratulations, B8MBies! You have finally beaten out the Saucerheads
of alt.astronomy as the contingent who have occupied this office the
most times. So, are you going to push for term limits?
OFFICE OF ILLUCIDUS MAXIMUS
The winner is...Jeff Relf!
11 votes Jeff Relf
10 votes John Wentzky
Congratulations, Glyph-boi! Your computer-assisted illucidity beat out
someone who is naturally incoherent.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
Kook Awards. Thirty-nine entities submitted thirty-nine ballots. One
of these was from someone whose participation might actually please
Fluffy, but who voted for previous winners, not candidates currently on
the ballot. Another was a forgery that, worse yet, voted for the person
being forged. A repeat performance will result in the forger being
disenfranchised. Both ballots where shredded and added to Fluffy>s
Litter Box. The good news is that the money that would have been spent
on cat litter this month has again been redirected to the the COO Beer
Cooler (TINCOOBC). The bad news is that it>s still just enough to cover
inflation. Sorry, no La Fin du Monde this month, either.
See you all very shortly, as this month>s nominations will come out ASAP
and then the July election will be held in a few days. Until then, hail
Fluffy and may Bob have mercy on your souls!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month>s big w(h)inner,
Jamie "Lamie" Baillie!
Sara Ramierez performing "Find Your Grail" at the 2005 Tony Awards
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRlnSgu-bY
--
The Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler of AUK
http://web.archive.org/web/20070626225733/http://www.caballista.org/auk/
New website under construction |
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Etaoin Shrdlu
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 6:39 am Post subject: Re: WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008 |
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Le 26 Jul 2008, Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler
<wrangler@caballista.org> a écrit :
[quote]
"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
[/quote]
Reposted here, with embedded videos:
http://etaoin.aboutjamiebaillie.com/Jamie/Awards.php
--
My little NANAE hangout: http://etaoin.aboutjamiebaillie.com
Buy war bonds
keep ".NOSPAM" to mail me. |
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Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: Re: WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008 |
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"Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler" <wrangler@caballista.org> wrote in
message news:g6glqo$qtr$1@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
[quote]"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
snip all Pinky Sue>s Gay Krap[/quote]
Hi Pinky!
Been with Ron Allard in Las Vegas sucking each other>s Prong?
Hee....Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Your Pal,
HJ
--
"Silly little awards"
- pinku-sen...@caballista.org
"I don>t like out-of-control kookologists; they make AUK look bad."
- pinku-sen...@caballista.org
"we (tinw) really do it for our own entertainment"
- pinku-sen...@caballista.org
"There are no rules"
- Kadaitcha Man (RIP)
"Everything I type is a lie."
- Art Deco <e...@caballista.org>
I know AUK to be exactly what it is...a pit of chaos...nothing more,
nothing less.
- K.A. Cannon |
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Kadaitcha Man
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: *** DOUBLE WHAMMY WINNER **** SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE Re: WIN |
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Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler, ye yeasty mankind witch, you
ratcatcher, ye hooted:
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine wins, not one, but two of AUK>s highest, rarest, most
prestigious and difficult to achieve usenet Ko0k awards.
WAY TO GO, SCOTTY!!!!
ALL HAEL MISTER LIFSHINE FOR HE HACE MOOCH K00KERY!!1!
[quote]"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
21 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Wereo! For not only exposing your kookery in a court
of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have
shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity.
Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the
archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved
the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most
esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement
in kookery.
We (TINW) now present, for your viewing pleasure, the only man that
matters on USENET--WEREO!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY
[/quote]
YAY! GO SCOTT! GO!
[quote]BALSA GAVEL
The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
21 votes YES
00 votes NO
Congratulations, again, Mr. Lifshine! For suing someone that you met
over the Internet about your pet kooky project, you have managed to earn
not only the highest honor AUK gives out for kookery, but one of the
rarest awards AUK gives out. After all, it>s a special breed who
actually sues over someone thwarting their USENET obsession.
[/quote]
YAAAAAAY! WAY TO GO, SCOTTY!!!1!
--
Hammer of Thor: February 2007. Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook,
Line & Sinker: September 2005, April 2006, January 2007.
Official Member: Cabal Obsidian Order COOSN-124-07-06660
Official Overseer of Kooks & Trolls in 24hoursupport.helpdesk |
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MrFanTasy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: Re: *** DOUBLE WHAMMY WINNER **** SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE Re: |
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In article
<i4rcvy$ckv$4@news.admin.wringing-wet-hummer-hole.biz.senegal>,
"Kadaitcha Man" <nospam.nospam.nospam@gmail.com> wrote:
[quote]Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler, ye yeasty mankind witch, you
ratcatcher, ye hooted:
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine wins, not one, but two of AUK>s highest, rarest, most
prestigious and difficult to achieve usenet Ko0k awards.
WAY TO GO, SCOTTY!!!!
ALL HAEL MISTER LIFSHINE FOR HE HACE MOOCH K00KERY!!1!
[/quote]
AWL HALE PEDOTARD PIG FACE the TuRD POLISHING WARTHOG
--
Who cares? |
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MrFanTasy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: MrFanTasy, Wild Tranny With Big Boobs Tiny Butt Bang |
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MrFanTasy, ye bewildered blot, pray God ye may make haste, and come too
late, ye descanted:
[quote]Immoral bull-bitch with small time love-n-ator, mummified plums, and
oversize balloon-knot desires rattle boned tassle for atrocious flesh
exchanges and ruthless clown punchin'.
Email me at mailto:m.fantasy@fantc.com.[/quote] |
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Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: Rick Mather is lost in the ozone... |
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"Kadaitcha Man" <nospam.nospam.nospam@gmail.com> wrote in message
[quote]
WAY TO GO, SCOTTY!!!!
ALL HAEL MISTER LIFSHINE FOR HE HACE MOOCH K00KERY!!1!
How Gay, Rick![/quote]
HJ |
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MrFanTasy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: I>m sad.......... please read |
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MrFanTasy, ye impatient divel, experience, manhood, honour, ne>er before
did violate so itself, ye pleaded:
> I will be released in four weeks. They promised me. |
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MrFanTasy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: Any support groups for health obsessions??? |
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MrFanTasy, ye blubbery periwigpated fellow, ye issued from the rancour
of a villain, a recreant and most degenerate traitor, ye guffed:
> Why do I have dreams about sexual encounters with relatives? |
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MrFanTasy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: rectal prolapse and constipation |
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MrFanTasy, ye big-bellied fly-by-night, thou art as loathsome as a fat
toad, ye ministered:
> I can hammer nails with my skull. |
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MrFanTasy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: help with bipolar disorders |
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MrFanTasy, ye broken-down unthrifty son, it is fit that I commit offence
to my inferiors, ye delivered:
> If I don>t beat my meat, mum won>t give me any pudding. |
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MrFanTasy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:01 am Post subject: Re: MrFanTasy, Wild Tranny With Big Boobs Tiny Butt Bang |
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In article
<gh8cso$50n$f@rec.games.drilling.holes.between.cubicles.in.public.toilet
s.biz.pitcairn-islands>,
"MrFanTasy" <m.fantasy@fantc.commie> wrote:
[quote]MrFanTasy, ye bewildered blot, pray God ye may make haste, and come too
late, ye descanted:
Immoral bull-bitch with small time love-n-ator, mummified plums, and
oversize balloon-knot desires rattle boned tassle for atrocious flesh
exchanges and ruthless clown punchin'.
Email me at mailto:m.fantasy@fantc.com.
[/quote]
Yes....PLEASE email me OFTEN
and PLEASE :cc me at: caljamscott@yahoo.com
Just in case I miss anything ya no?
*I Gateąd The PIG*
To the tune of: I Started a Joke by The Bee Gees
I gateąd The PIG
Which started the whole world laffing
But Shitshine was too STUPID to see
IT was really AWL about ME, oh yes
I started to laff, which started the whole net laughing,
Oh, if Iąd only seen that the PiGGy has fleas
I looked at the screen, wiping the tears from my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, Laffiną my ass off from things that Iąd said.
Til the pig finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if Iąd only seen what a grand day thatąd be
--
Who cares? |
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MrFanTasy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:01 am Post subject: Re: MrFanTasy, Wild Tranny With Big Boobs Tiny Butt Bang |
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In FUCKING QUIM! ARSE-PISS! article
<gh8cso$50n$f@rec.games.drilling.holes.between.cubicles.in.public.toilet
s.biz.pitcairn-islands>, FUCKING ANDRODYKE! "MrFanTasy"
<m.fantasy@fantc.commie> wrote: FUCKING DIPSHIT! FLAPS! BIKINI-FILLERS!
FARTHEAD! ALL-DAY SUCKER! FART! ARSESUCKER!
[quote]MrFanTasy, ye bewildered blot, pray God ye may make haste, and come too
late, ye descanted:
Immoral bull-bitch with small time love-n-ator, mummified plums, and
oversize balloon-knot desires rattle boned tassle for atrocious flesh
exchanges and ruthless clown punchin'.
Email me at mailto:m.fantasy@fantc.com.
[/quote]
Yes....PLEASE FUCKING AFRAID OF THE NIGGERS! email me OFTEN BUTT FLOSS!
MOTHERFUCKER! BESTIALITY! FATHEAD!
and FUCKING BOSS AND HIS TWO HELPERS! FANNY FERRET! PLEASE :cc me
FUCKING DUMBBELL! SON OF A WHORE! BUCKET BROAD! at:
caljamscott@yahoo.com FUCKING BITCHED UP! FUCKHEAD! DORK!
Just FUCKING ANAL COPULATOR! in case I miss FUCKING DINK! SCRUBBER!
DRIVE THAT KNIFE SMACK IN YOUR CUNT! YO-YO-KNICKERS! ANAL COPULATOR!
ARSE-BONE! OFFICE-PUMP! ASS BROKER! anything ya no? FUCKSTER!
YO-YO-KNICKERS!
*I FUCKING LOVE LOLLIPOP! ASS KISSER! SCRUBBER! BUTTFUCK! INTESTINES!
ASS CRACK! FAMILY JEWELS! BITCHY! ARSE BURGLAR! Gateąd The PIG* To
FUCKING ADULTERESS! the tune of: I FUCKING BISHOP! Started a Joke by
FUCKING FLASHER! MUSCLE! BEAT OFF! The Bee Gees AIR YOUR GUTS! BARE-BUM!
I FUCKING PENIS! gateąd The PIG FUCKING BUM PRODDER! LOVE THRUSTER!
Which started the FUCKING BEAN QUEEN! whole world laffing FUCKING
FLEAPIT! But Shitshine was FUCKING DOG FUCKER! CLAM DIGGER! too STUPID
to FUCKING HONKY! see IT was FUCKING BUM AND TITS! really AWL about
FUCKING CLIT TICKLER! FUDDY-DUDDY! ME, oh yes FUCKING GASBLOWER!
CUNTBREATH! SEX MEAT! GOOK!
I FUCKING BUM WORKER! started to laff, which FUCKING BLACK PENCIL!
started the whole net FUCKING ANAL! FUCKBUTT! BUM-BAILIFF! GUTTER-SLUT!
ARSE UP! laughing, Oh, if Iąd FUCKING FUR BURGER! GUTTER SLUT! LUST
SHAFT! FUCKHEAD! BLUE-VEINED CUSTARD CHUCKER! FUCKBUTT! only seen that
the FUCKING BLACK SNAKE! BED FAGGOT! PiGGy has fleas BREASTS! f ck
FERRET!
I FUCKING PISSER! looked at the screen, FUCKING BINT! wiping the tears
from FUCKING FLOOSIE! BUG UP THE ASS! DUMBBELL! MICK! my eyes, And I
FUCKING CUM SLINGER! fell out of bed, FUCKING IMBECILE! Laffiną my ass
off FUCKING FLESH MISSILE! PARIAH! PUSSY FART! f ck! CUNT COMPANION! OLD
BAG! from things that Iąd FUCKING SHITHEAD! said. BITCHIN'-TWITCHIN'!
DITCH SLUT! BACK-DOOR BUDDY! BONE HEAD! BONE GOBBLER!
Til FUCKING BUGGERING! the pig finally died, FUCKING PORK POUNDING! HAY
BAG! which started the whole FUCKING SNOTMONSTER! MR BAT SHIT! world
living, Oh, if FUCKING PUSSY-POKER! BLUE-VEINED PICCOLO! Iąd only seen
what FUCKING KIPPER RIPPER! a grand day thatąd FUCKING CUNT CAPER! BEAT
OFF! be FLOWER BOY! SAUSAGE JOCKEY! DICKBREATH! |
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Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:01 am Post subject: Who Cares, Rick Mather? |
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"MrFanTasy" <m.fantasy@fantc.com> wrote in message
news:m.fantasy-9CA263.22595526072008@70-3-168-216.area5.spcsdns.net...
[quote]In article
i4rcvy$ckv$4@news.admin.wringing-wet-hummer-hole.biz.senegal>,
"Kadaitcha Man" <nospam.nospam.nospam@gmail.com> wrote:
Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler, ye yeasty mankind witch, you
ratcatcher, ye hooted:
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine wins, not one, but two of AUK>s highest, rarest,
most
prestigious and difficult to achieve usenet Ko0k awards.
WAY TO GO, SCOTTY!!!!
ALL HAEL MISTER LIFSHINE FOR HE HACE MOOCH K00KERY!!1!
AWL HALE PEDOTARD PIG FACE the TuRD POLISHING WARTHOG
--
Who cares?
[/quote]
Who cares. Rick Mather?
HJ |
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WeReo_ScoTTy
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:01 am Post subject: Re: WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008 |
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"Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler" <wrangler@caballista.org> wrote in
message news:g6glqo$qtr$1@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
[quote]"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
21 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Wereo! For not only exposing your kookery in a court
of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have
shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity.
Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the
archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved
the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most
esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement
in kookery.
We (TINW) now present, for your viewing pleasure, the only man that
matters on USENET--WEREO!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
06 votes Anthony X AKA "Sir Tony Baloney"
02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton,"
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Lamie! The "tard"iness of this report is at least
partially due to you, not only because of your being USENET>s notorious
spamtard, but because the FNVW spent two weeks racking racking his brain
trying to think of 13 unique things to say about you. That, along with
the original report being lost when the FNVW>s outbox became corrupted,
contributed to this report coming out two weeks late. Fluffy was not
pleased, and neither was I.
What, you thought you were going to sit down? Hardly. You>re "Not
Dead Yet" for there are 12 more awards with your name on them, so stand
right here.
"Not Dead Yet" from Spamalot
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vBz_WS6CdWc
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...MAXWELL!
10 votes Maxwell
08 votes Patriot Games
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Maxwell! Your lits o' haet including many different
people as "sockpuppets of Bertie" and your inability to distinguish
between fr0gging and forging, along with your continued whining and
utter inability to deal with a notorious troll (and Bertie is notorious,
especially in New Zealand!), earned you this award over someone who
cried "censorship" when he couldn>t see his own articles because of
propagation issues. See you in January, when you>ll be on the ballot
for Clueless Newbie of the Year!
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
20 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
04 votes Is Ken Darian
04 votes Raymond Karczewski
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations a second time, Spamtard! Your persistent legal threats,
bogus DMCA takedowns, attempts to get others to do your dirty work, and
running away from tough questions won you this prize. Now, watch your
role model, Brave Sir Robin, and learn some style points from him.
"Brave Sir Robin" from Spamalot
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AShveV6I_EA
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
09 votes Brad Guth
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Lamie! My policy is to only allow someone
to run for both Kook of the Month and Looney Maroon on the same ballot
if they are an exceptionally strong candidate and are also exceptionally
looney. Your sweeping of all 13 categories for which you were nominated
this month confirmed the wisdom of allowing you to contest both awards.
The Knights of the Round Table from Spamalot would be proud of you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBR_HsCfNxo
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...GREGVK!
16 votes gregvk
09 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, gregvk/jitter/malscribe/purpurroterwald! Flaming
someone by wishing them ovarian cancer, among other lamery, has earned
you this distinction of being worthy of being ignored by everyone on
USENET.
JOSEPH BARTLO MEMORIAL PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...GREGVK!
19 votes gregvk
09 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, again, Greggie poo! Your schtick may go over really
well on Something Awful, 4Chan, or Encyclopedia Dramatica, but on AUK,
it>s merely pathetic. In fact, it>s so pathetic that you will
eventually be thrown into the Galactic Killfile for it. When that will
happen is for me to know, and for you not to find out.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
07 votes Raymond Karczewski
02 votes dvus
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, again, Spanktard! This is your first repeat win of an
AUK award, fittingly, for being completely spanked by NANAE and whoever
on AUK was also participating. Now, make like King Arthur and the
Knights of the Round Table and "RUN AWAY!"
"Run Away" from Spamalot
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GA7IDKWoz2o
TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
08 votes Raymond Karczewski
01 votes Babaloonie
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Dramatard! Ridiculous ranting? Check. Unprovoked
meltdowns? Check. Operatic flouncing? Check. Threatening to leave
USENET forever, preferably several times a week? We (TINW) could only
hope. In the meantime, here is another role model of yours; she might
teach you something.
"Diva>s Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)" from Spamalot
http://youtube.com/watch?v=u9VMImm_61Y
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A!
"Photon Degradation" by Double-A
20 votes YES
00 votes NO
Congratulations, Double-A! It looks like all the weird science thrown
around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. It was
only a matter of time.
DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY!
12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky
09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, John-Boy! Your original revisionism about the
Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated
reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to
say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother
being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. All that
was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" Yes, it will,
but not because of revisionists like you.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton"
00 votes Neither of the above
Further congratulations to you, Lamie! Your multiple crusades, but
especially your campaign against aioe, have attracted the attention of
NANAE and AUK and earned you this award. Did you get that aioe user
banned? No? You did, however, give the admin of aioe an opportunity to
show that he has balls and integrity, which is one of the reasons that
I>m now accepting ballots from that site, when a few months ago, I
shredded them on sight. That>s a "victory" just like The Black
Knight>s!
The Black Knight from Spamalot.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=k2jYtRTEaNI
SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
The winner is...THE RAMD ASSWIPE BRIGADE!
12 votes The RAMD Asswipe Brigade
09 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Post-Show Parking Lot Brawlers! Your continued
attempts to "plonk the filth" didn>t chase any outsiders away from your
home froup. Instead, it got you cascade after cascade mocking your
efforts. Oh, your work also got you a victory over a big-name kook--the
biggest award winner of the past three years, in fact. That>s quite the
accomplishment (1993 Star of Indiana golf clap for all of you).
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
06 votes Ed Conrad
01 votes Neither of the above
Sincere congratulations to you for this one, Spamtard. Not only did you
have to prove that you had cleared the high bar of being a "terminally
clueless crusader" that everyone in your home group would like to see
run out of town on a rail, you handily defeated, in his third attempt at
this award, one of the few people I know who really was run out of a
USENET group on a rail, Ed "Coalbrain" Conrad, whose kookery is even
more legendary than yours.
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
13 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
12 votes gregvk
07 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
02 votes None of the above
00 votes Is Ken Darien
Congratulations yet again! It>s only appropriate that someone whose
most common nickname is "Lamie" should win the award for "the lamest of
the lame on USENET." Yes, Jamie, that>s you.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
25 votes YES
03 votes NO
Congratulations, Spamtard! Your eye-glazing screeds that you call
"abuse reports" really do say the least possible with the most text.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
15 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
14 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations Lamie! Of course, you had an unfair advantage with this
award. The criterion is that you had to demonstrate that you lost more
marbles than a Chinese Checker factory. Well, there is some doubt you
ever had those marbles in the first place!
BALSA GAVEL
The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
21 votes YES
00 votes NO
Congratulations, again, Mr. Lifshine! For suing someone that you met
over the Internet about your pet kooky project, you have managed to earn
not only the highest honor AUK gives out for kookery, but one of the
rarest awards AUK gives out. After all, it>s a special breed who
actually sues over someone thwarting their USENET obsession.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE, TRAINED BY GARY BURNORE!
21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie, trained by Gary Burnore.
05 votes Maxwell, trained by Bertie the Bunyip
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Gary, for your training of Lamie! This makes two
kooks, Dimmy and now Lamie, that are at your beck and call. They
certainly make for a wonderfully loony matched set!
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is..."WE NEED A NEW FNVW"!
"We need a new FNVW" by Pope Snarky, Pinku-Sensei, and Art Deco
16 votes YES
04 votes NO
Congratulations, Snarky and Art! You two did a wonderful job of making
lemonade out of lemons and then getting the kooks and kookologists to
drink it!
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
16 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
09 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
05 votes Brad Guth
Congratulations, Dramatard! By winning this office, you not only beat
out another notorious whiner, but you made yourself eligible for yet
another annual award--The Bardley Annual Whining Baby New Year--to go
along with Rookie Kook of the Year, Kook of the Year, and Coward of the
Year. If you have a website, you would also be eligible for the
kooksite of the year award, too.
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
04 votes Charles Lysaght
Congratulations for the final time this month, Lamie! You handily
defeated one of the most notoriously and entertainingly idiotic posters
to USENET, the infamous Chuckles Lysaght, capping off an election in
which you have probably won more awards in a single month than any other
kook in AUK history. While some might decry this as piling on, your
history of kookery and idiocy on the Internet goes back 15 years, so a
good case can be made that this is merely catching up for lost time.
Besides, you can look on the bright side--there are still more awards
you can win!
"Always Look at the Bright Side of Life" from Spamalot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qukfTiqyR8
KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
15 votes Alexa Cameron
07 votes John Wentzky
Cpngratulations, Alexa! You handily defeated this month>s winner of the
Doogie Rant Medal for Historical Revisionism to held on to your office
for spreading misinformation. Your reputation for misinformation is now
legend.
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD!
11 votes Big-8 Management Board
08 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
07 votes The Gun Nutz of misc.survivalism and talk.politics.guns
02 votes Nazicowards of soc.culture.israel
Congratulations, B8MBies! You have finally beaten out the Saucerheads
of alt.astronomy as the contingent who have occupied this office the
most times. So, are you going to push for term limits?
OFFICE OF ILLUCIDUS MAXIMUS
The winner is...Jeff Relf!
11 votes Jeff Relf
10 votes John Wentzky
Congratulations, Glyph-boi! Your computer-assisted illucidity beat out
someone who is naturally incoherent.
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
Kook Awards. Thirty-nine entities submitted thirty-nine ballots. One
of these was from someone whose participation might actually please
Fluffy, but who voted for previous winners, not candidates currently on
the ballot. Another was a forgery that, worse yet, voted for the person
being forged. A repeat performance will result in the forger being
disenfranchised. Both ballots where shredded and added to Fluffy>s
Litter Box. The good news is that the money that would have been spent
on cat litter this month has again been redirected to the the COO Beer
Cooler (TINCOOBC). The bad news is that it>s still just enough to cover
inflation. Sorry, no La Fin du Monde this month, either.
See you all very shortly, as this month>s nominations will come out ASAP
and then the July election will be held in a few days. Until then, hail
Fluffy and may Bob have mercy on your souls!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month>s big w(h)inner,
Jamie "Lamie" Baillie!
Sara Ramierez performing "Find Your Grail" at the 2005 Tony Awards
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRlnSgu-bY
--
The Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler of AUK
http://web.archive.org/web/20070626225733/http://www.caballista.org/auk/
New website under construction
You gotta be fucking KIDDING! I actually WON this thing? I>ve been waiting[/quote]
awl my Life to win this Award.
I am humbled. I thank everyone. I am the only One who matters on the
Internets.
!!!!!I AM DA MAN!!!!!
I am the only One who matters on the televisions. I might>ve lost the case
but gained a ton. I am the only one who matters on the airwaves. I bring the
Wereo to you ...
Thank you so much Kook Award Committees. Where is my crown? I am the only
One who matters on the Internets and on the Films. OWWWIEEE!!!!! |
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