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SPAM BETTER · Guest

Fighting the views of the establishment? No one listening to you?

You need to learn to SPAM BETTER.

If you are reading this message, that means you are trying to reach
your audience though USENET. I>ve got news for you, pal ... No one
fucking reads Usenet anymore.

So what discussion boards do people read? Let>s take a look at the
current rankings:

http://www.big-boards.com/

1 Gaia Online
2 IGN boards
3 4chan
4 Nexopia
5 d2jsp
6 FaceTheJury
7 Jogos
8 Vault Network boards
9 Offtopic.com
10 Doctissimo.fr

That>s all we really need. You might be tempted to scroll down for a
board that>s relevant to the topic you want to rant about. That would
be a mistake. It doesn>t matter how relevant your post is if no one
reads it. If a large board doesn>t have a section relevant to your
topic, you can always post in the "General," "Miscellaneous," or
"Random" section.

Big-boards.com ranks the boards by post count, and also lists the
number of members, but you can ignore the number of members because
it>s wrong -- it doesn>t count anonymous users.

Let>s try an example. Let>s say you have a theory that atoms are tiny
vortices with a neverending supply of power, but that oil companies
are paying the government to supress the evidence for this theory and
promote quantum mechanics in its place. The first thing to do is
write your post:

ATOMS ARE TINY VORTICES WITH A NEVERENDING SUPPLY OF POWER BUT OIL
COMPANIES ARE PAYING THE GOVERNMENT TO SUPRESS THE EVIDENCE FOR THIS
THEORY AND PROMOTE QUANTUM MECHANICS IN ITS PLACE!!!

Keep it short; no one will read your post if it>s longer than 3
sentences.

The next step is to find a board to post to. So we go to the websites
on the big-boards list. #1 and #2 want you to register, but #3
(4chan) doesn>t require registration, so we can start spamming right
away. Let>s try the "Technology" board. 4chan requires a picture
with your post, so we open up MSPaint and draw a spiral to illustrate
the point.

It>s a good idea to read the FAQ, not because the board rules have any
relevance, but because it tells you how to work with the crappy board
software. For example, on 4chan, we have to put the word "noko" in
the email field or it won>t take us to the thread we just started.

Now that you>ve posted your message, it>s important to keep it on the
front page, or else no one will read it. This is done by "bumping"
your post. You follow up to your own post with a post that merely
says "bump." Then you delete it, because you>re going to be doing
this over and over again. Your thread will stay bumped even after you
delete the post. Make sure you bump your thread anytime it>s close to
drifting off the front page, which on a high-traffic board, will be
about 30 seconds after you last bumped it.

So what happens now? After one minute, we have two responses:

"wat"

and

"in b4 404"

People are already reading the message. How long does it take you to
get a response on Usenet? Hours? Days?

Now after two minutes, someone is skeptical:

"prove it"

Why don>t they see the wisdom of your theory? Well, this is as far as
I can take you. Now is the time for you to bring out the very best
arguments in favor of your theory to win the hearts and minds of the
people.

Good luck. The world awaits you.

Androcles · Guest

"SPAM BETTER" <spambetter@mailinator.com> wrote in message
news:7d9f4e20-cd27-4f2e-90ed-5b45109cfd26@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
[quote]Fighting the views of the establishment? No one listening to you?

You need to learn to SPAM BETTER.

If you are reading this message, that means you are trying to reach
your audience though USENET. I>ve got news for you, pal ... No one
fucking reads Usenet anymore.

So what discussion boards do people read? Let>s take a look at the
current rankings:

http://www.big-boards.com/

1 Gaia Online
2 IGN boards
3 4chan
4 Nexopia
5 d2jsp
6 FaceTheJury
7 Jogos
8 Vault Network boards
9 Offtopic.com
10 Doctissimo.fr

That>s all we really need. You might be tempted to scroll down for a
board that>s relevant to the topic you want to rant about. That would
be a mistake. It doesn>t matter how relevant your post is if no one
reads it. If a large board doesn>t have a section relevant to your
topic, you can always post in the "General," "Miscellaneous," or
"Random" section.

Big-boards.com ranks the boards by post count, and also lists the
number of members, but you can ignore the number of members because
it>s wrong -- it doesn>t count anonymous users.

Let>s try an example. Let>s say you have a theory that atoms are tiny
vortices with a neverending supply of power, but that oil companies
are paying the government to supress the evidence for this theory and
promote quantum mechanics in its place. The first thing to do is
write your post:

ATOMS ARE TINY VORTICES WITH A NEVERENDING SUPPLY OF POWER BUT OIL
COMPANIES ARE PAYING THE GOVERNMENT TO SUPRESS THE EVIDENCE FOR THIS
THEORY AND PROMOTE QUANTUM MECHANICS IN ITS PLACE!!!

Keep it short; no one will read your post if it>s longer than 3
sentences.

The next step is to find a board to post to. So we go to the websites
on the big-boards list. #1 and #2 want you to register, but #3
(4chan) doesn>t require registration, so we can start spamming right
away. Let>s try the "Technology" board. 4chan requires a picture
with your post, so we open up MSPaint and draw a spiral to illustrate
the point.

It>s a good idea to read the FAQ, not because the board rules have any
relevance, but because it tells you how to work with the crappy board
software. For example, on 4chan, we have to put the word "noko" in
the email field or it won>t take us to the thread we just started.

Now that you>ve posted your message, it>s important to keep it on the
front page, or else no one will read it. This is done by "bumping"
your post. You follow up to your own post with a post that merely
says "bump." Then you delete it, because you>re going to be doing
this over and over again. Your thread will stay bumped even after you
delete the post. Make sure you bump your thread anytime it>s close to
drifting off the front page, which on a high-traffic board, will be
about 30 seconds after you last bumped it.

So what happens now? After one minute, we have two responses:

"wat"

and

"in b4 404"

People are already reading the message. How long does it take you to
get a response on Usenet? Hours? Days?

Now after two minutes, someone is skeptical:

"prove it"

Why don>t they see the wisdom of your theory? Well, this is as far as
I can take you. Now is the time for you to bring out the very best
arguments in favor of your theory to win the hearts and minds of the
people.

Good luck. The world awaits you.
[/quote]
I>m the dude that says "prove it". That>s why usenet is right for me.
Good advice for all the cretins, though, I>d like to see them f ck off.

Rock Brentwood · Guest

On Nov 3, 8:24 pm, SPAM BETTER <spambet...@mailinator.com> wrote:
[quote]Keep it short; no one will read your post if it>s longer than 3
sentences.
[/quote]
Obviously, that>s wrong -- even (and especially) according to you.
Proof: the length of your post. Actions speak louder than words. And
your actions say volumes (literally): you didn>t "keep it short".

The correct statement is: "keep it interesting" not "keep it short";
and keep it interesting so much so that people can stop reading it, no
matter how long it gets. Or, in the more extreme case: make it so
interesting, that people actually DEMAND that you keep going on,
making it yet longer.

Short 3-line invocations are meant to be given to dogs and others who
belong on a leash; not to members of a fully sentient species.

Centralized lists like yours are ultimately self-defeating exercises.
Search on a topic of relevance. A good search engine already sorts in
a way that you>ll get near the top of the list venues with the highest
level of activity.

You don>t go to where the activity is. You make the activity come to
wherever you are, solely by the fact that it is you who is there.

Rock Brentwood · Guest

On Nov 3, 8:24 pm, SPAM BETTER <spambet...@mailinator.com> wrote:
Theory:
[quote]If you are reading this message, that means you are trying to reach
your audience though USENET. I>ve got news for you, pal ... No one
fucking reads Usenet anymore.
[/quote]
Fact:
I>ve not had trouble with visibility via the USENET.

Example:
http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/summary?doi=10.1.1.23.9475

"James Clark’s TREX is a clean, simple and powerful schema language
for XML. On this foundation implemented a query language (called TREX-
Q). The purpose of the present paper is to report our experiences in
doing this, and to contribute to understanding of the issues that
arise when a validator is extended into a query language. Aside from
TREX, the strongest influences on our work are McKelvie’s XMLQUERY and
a similar algorithm described by Mark Hopkins in UseNet postings."

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=the+sahara+terraform

(Many cites ... all ultimately descending from me. Orbit 6 still has
one of the original USENET cites intact; Daily Tech seems to be a
later-day descendant, particularly with the reference to the "forest"
meme, which I recently seeded into the pool to track)

Example:
Heroes. Both the inception and powers listed (as well as some of the
by-lines and phrases) closely parallel a long USENET article I sent
out about a month before the show>s first announcement.

Juan R." González-Álvarez · Guest

SPAM BETTER wrote on Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:24:42 -0800:

(snip)

[quote]Good luck. The world awaits you.
[/quote]
World is already prepared:

http://canonicalscience.blogspot.com/2008/08/some-samples-of-usenet-fauna-
i.html

--
http://www.canonicalscience.org/en/miscellaneouszone/guidelines.html

Dirk Van de moortel · Guest

SPAM BETTER <spambetter@mailinator.com> wrote in message
7d9f4e20-cd27-4f2e-90ed-5b45109cfd26@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com
[quote]Fighting the views of the establishment? No one listening to you?

You need to learn to SPAM BETTER.

If you are reading this
[/quote]
3 sentences limit exceeded.

Dirk Vdm


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