Science and Technology news... :: View topic - Report: Hitler Truly Only Had One Ball -- Bollock Not Bolloc

D. Spencer Hines · Guest

I once had a knock-down drag-out battle with a Yale History professor
over this issue.

I advocated the one-ball Hitlerian theory -- he insisted arrogantly on
the two-ball Hitlerian theory.

The class was delighted.
--
DSH
Lux et Veritas et Libertas
Vires et Honor
Veni, Vidi, Calcitravi Asinum

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

<http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1945960.eceDitty to
lift our morale>

By CHARLOTTE SPRATT
The Sun

THERE are several versions of "Hitler has only got one ball" - sung to
the tune of The Colonel Bogey March.
It is thought that it was first written in August 1939 as propaganda
against the Nazis.

Writer Donough O>Brien claimed in his autobiography that his father
Toby O>Brien had invented the ditty while working as a publicist for
the British Council. He said he was trying to improve British morale
with a song against the German leader.

That version began: "Göring has only got one ball, Hitler>s are so
very small, Himmler>s so very similar, and Goebbels has no balls at
all."

But no one has managed to discover who switched the lines to correctly
say that it was Hitler who was missing a testicle.

Most versions now begin with the line: "Hitler has only got one ball."

Some go on to make the odd - but amusing - claim that "the other is on
the kitchen wall".

Others claim his mother hid the missing testicle in the Albert Hall.

Comedian Ricky Gervais claimed in a gag during his Fame stand-up tour
that he has checked the building out and never found it.

Almost all the versions refer to Hitler>s mother, "the dirty b****r",
being the one who lopped it off.
The second verse is: "She threw it over Germany, it landed in the deep
blue sea, the fishes got out their dishes, and had scallops and
b******s for tea."

WORLD EXCLUSIVE

Hitler HAD only got one ball

By ALEX PEAKE
Published: Today

AN extraordinary account from a German army medic has finally
confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball.

War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s,
who wrote it down.

The priest>s document has now come to light - 23 years after Johan>s
death.

The war tyrant>s medical condition has been mocked for years in a
British song.

The lyrics are: "Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the
Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty b****r, cut it off when he was
small.'

Until now there has never been complete proof Hitler was monorchic -
the medical term for having one testicle.
But the document tells how Johan saw the proof with his own eyes. In
the account, he relives the horror of serving as an army medic in
World War I.

He died aged 94 in 1985, but had told his secret to priest Franciszek
Pawlar, who kept a note of their conversation.
Johan>s friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed the priest>s account of how
the medic saved Hitler>s life. He said: "In 1916 they had their
hardest fight in the Battle of the Somme.

"For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers.
He remembers Hitler.

"They called him the 'Screamer'. He was very noisy. Hitler was
screaming 'help, help'.

"His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the
abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was:
'Will I be able to have children?'."

Blassius said that when the Nazis swept to power Johan began to suffer
nightmares and blame himself for saving Hitler.

Hitler>s genitals have long caused controversy. Some historians
dismissed the "one ball" song as propaganda. But an alleged Soviet
autopsy on Hitler backed it up.

Records show Hitler did suffer a groin injury in the Somme.

It is the first time an interview with anyone who treated Hitler
during WWI has come to light.

Dr Martin Farr, senior lecturer at Newcastle University School of
Historical Studies, said last night: "This genuinely new twist is
fascinating." -- a.peake@the-sun.co.uk
--
DSH
Lux et Veritas et Libertas
Vires et Honor

David E. Powell · Guest

So that>s why he was so mad all the time!

Raymond O'Hara · Guest

"D. Spencer Hines" <panther@excelsior.com> wrote in message
news:6B3Vk.178$9k5.205@eagle.america.net...
[quote]I once had a knock-down drag-out battle with a Yale History professor over
this issue.
[/quote]
would you worry about a half a tank of gas?

David E. Powell · Guest

On Nov 20, 11:56 am, James Hogg <Jas.Hogg...@SPAM.gmail.com> wrote:
[quote]On Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:39:23 -0000, "Martin"

martin1471spamf...@outgun.com> wrote:

"David E. Powell" <David_Powell3...@msn.com> wrote in message
news:2175772f-480b-4427-b566-a762d0fb3313@j38g2000yqa.googlegroups.com....
So that>s why he was so mad all the time!

You mean 'nuts', surely?

You mean 'nut', surely?

James
[/quote]
Well put and well put!

Hitler was a Terrorist: The Uniballer.

James Hogg · Guest

On Thu, 20 Nov 2008 02:03:46 -0000, "D. Spencer Hines"
<panther@excelsior.com> wrote:

[quote]I once had a knock-down drag-out battle with a Yale History professor
over this issue.
[/quote]
We know you have always had trouble toeing the line with
superiors. Tell us again how you ended up as a housing officer.

James

Guest

On Nov 19, 9:03 pm, "D. Spencer Hines" <pant...@excelsior.com> wrote:
[quote]I once had a knock-down drag-out battle with a Yale History professor
over this issue.

I advocated the one-ball Hitlerian theory -- he insisted arrogantly on
the two-ball Hitlerian theory.

The class was delighted.
[/quote]
Another data point on how an expensive education was wasted.

Guest

On Nov 20, 1:56 pm, "D. Spencer Hines" <pant...@excelsior.com> wrote:
[quote]
Now consider the subsequent psychological ramifications on Hitler>s
character, sexual experiences and subsequent actions.

Fascinating!

[/quote]
Not really. It>s a no-brainer.

It is clear that losing a ball doesn>t necessarily makes you weaker,
or a worse organizer, or motivator, or less of an inspiration to
people, or diminishes your oratory, or ambition,...

Sexually, there is no evidence that Hitler would have been a better
lover or sex maniac with two balls. The guy lusted for power not
pussy. Not a bad strategy. Get power and pussy will come with it is
even better a strategy than the advice my father gave me and I>ve
tried to follow assiduously: You can spend a lot of money chasing
pussy, but if you chase money pussy will never be a problem.

What else?... You lose some weight for sure.

Is that it?

Martin · Guest

"David E. Powell" <David_Powell3006@msn.com> wrote in message
news:2175772f-480b-4427-b566-a762d0fb3313@j38g2000yqa.googlegroups.com...
[quote]So that>s why he was so mad all the time!
[/quote]
You mean 'nuts', surely?

James Hogg · Guest

On Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:39:23 -0000, "Martin"
<martin1471spamfuck@outgun.com> wrote:

[quote]
"David E. Powell" <David_Powell3006@msn.com> wrote in message
news:2175772f-480b-4427-b566-a762d0fb3313@j38g2000yqa.googlegroups.com...
So that>s why he was so mad all the time!

You mean 'nuts', surely?
[/quote]
You mean 'nut', surely?

James

D. Spencer Hines · Guest

I once had a knock-down drag-out battle with a Yale History professor
over this issue.

I advocated the one-ball Hitlerian theory -- he insisted arrogantly on
the two-ball Hitlerian theory.

The class was delighted, as he was a professor of German history and I
was a mere lad.

Of course I had the evidence of the Soviet autopsy on my side and he
had nothing but butkis and his own overweening authoritarian dignity
to offer.

'Twas Delightful Indeed!

Now consider the subsequent psychological ramifications on Hitler>s
character, sexual experiences and subsequent actions.

Fascinating!

Grist for the mill of the psychiatrists, psychologists, social
workers, CIA profilers, entrail readers, intelligence officers, tea
leaf cognoscenti, shrink charlatans and General Public.
--
DSH
Lux et Veritas et Libertas
Vires et Honor
Veni, Vidi, Calcitravi Asinum

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

<http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1945960.eceDitty to
lift our morale>

By CHARLOTTE SPRATT
The Sun

THERE are several versions of "Hitler has only got one ball" - sung to
the tune of The Colonel Bogey March.

It is thought that it was first written in August 1939 as propaganda
against the Nazis.

Writer Donough O>Brien claimed in his autobiography that his father
Toby O>Brien had invented the ditty while working as a publicist for
the British Council. He said he was trying to improve British morale
with a song against the German leader.

That version began: "Göring has only got one ball, Hitler>s are so
very small, Himmler>s so very similar, and Goebbels has no balls at
all."

But no one has managed to discover who switched the lines to correctly
say that it was Hitler who was missing a testicle.

Most versions now begin with the line: "Hitler has only got one ball."

Some go on to make the odd - but amusing - claim that "the other is on
the kitchen wall".

Others claim his mother hid the missing testicle in the Albert Hall.

Comedian Ricky Gervais claimed in a gag during his Fame stand-up tour
that he has checked the building out and never found it.

Almost all the versions refer to Hitler>s mother, "the dirty b****r",
being the one who lopped it off.

The second verse is: "She threw it over Germany, it landed in the deep
blue sea, the fishes got out their dishes, and had scallops and
b******s for tea."

WORLD EXCLUSIVE

Hitler HAD only got one ball

By ALEX PEAKE
Published: Today

AN extraordinary account from a German army medic has finally
confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball.

War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s,
who wrote it down.

The priest>s document has now come to light - 23 years after Johan>s
death.

The war tyrant>s medical condition has been mocked for years in a
British song.

The lyrics are: "Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the
Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty b****r, cut it off when he was
small.'

Until now there has never been complete proof Hitler was monorchic -
the medical term for having one testicle.

But the document tells how Johan saw the proof with his own eyes. In
the account, he relives the horror of serving as an army medic in
World War I.

He died aged 94 in 1985, but had told his secret to priest Franciszek
Pawlar, who kept a note of their conversation.

Johan>s friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed the priest>s account of how
the medic saved Hitler>s life. He said: "In 1916 they had their
hardest fight in the Battle of the Somme.

"For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers.
He remembers Hitler.

"They called him the 'Screamer'. He was very noisy. Hitler was
screaming 'help, help'.

"His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the
abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was:
'Will I be able to have children?'."

Blassius said that when the Nazis swept to power Johan began to suffer
nightmares and blame himself for saving Hitler.

Hitler>s genitals have long caused controversy. Some historians
dismissed the "one ball" song as propaganda. But an alleged Soviet
autopsy on Hitler backed it up.

Records show Hitler did suffer a groin injury in the Somme.

It is the first time an interview with anyone who treated Hitler
during WWI has come to light.

Dr Martin Farr, senior lecturer at Newcastle University School of
Historical Studies, said last night: "This genuinely new twist is
fascinating." -- a.peake@the-sun.co.uk
--
DSH
Lux et Veritas et Libertas
Vires et Honor

J Antero · Guest

"D. Spencer Hines" <panther@excelsior.com> wrote in message
news:6B3Vk.178$9k5.205@eagle.america.net...

[quote]I once had a knock-down drag-out battle with a Yale History professor over
this issue.
I advocated the one-ball Hitlerian theory -- he insisted arrogantly on the
two-ball Hitlerian theory.

The class was delighted.
[/quote]

Sure you did.

Was Ted Stevens there?

Hilarious, and he acuses Black of "pub piffle"....

guy · Guest

On 21 Nov, 12:33, James Hogg <Jas.Hogg...@SPAM.gmail.com> wrote:
[quote]On Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:23:33 +0000, Andrew Swallow

am.swal...@btinternet.com> wrote:
James Hogg wrote:
[snip]

The evidence of the Soviet autopsy, obviously
enough, came after Hitler>s death. The British
knew about this and had versified it long before
that.

By the way, I really meant "versified", not "verified".

The British women must have been working from photographs and
watching Hitler live at the rallies.

They noticed that he leaned slightly to one side. He dressed to
the right, of course.

James
[/quote]
England 1939-1940
Hitler, he only had one ball,
Goering, he had two but very small,
Himmler had something simmler,
But poor old Goebbels had no balls at all.
Whistle Chorus:

Frankfurt has only one beer hall,
Stuttgart, die München all on call,
Munich, vee lift our tunich,
To show vee 'Cherman' have no balls at all.
Whistle Chorus:

Hans Otto is very short, not tall,
And blotto, for drinking Singhai and Skol.
A 'Cherman', unlike Bruce Erwin,
Because Hans Otto has no balls at all.
Whistle Chorus:

Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is in the Albert Hall.
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Cut it off when he was small.
Whistle Chorus:

(to the tune of colonel bogey)

Guy

James Hogg · Guest

"D. Spencer Hines" wrote:

[quote]I once had a knock-down drag-out battle with a Yale History professor
over this issue.

I advocated the one-ball Hitlerian theory -- he insisted arrogantly on
the two-ball Hitlerian theory.

The class was delighted, as he was a professor of German history and I
was a mere lad.
[/quote]
But just as arrogant as the professor.

[quote]Of course I had the evidence of the Soviet autopsy on my side and he
had nothing but butkis and his own overweening authoritarian dignity
to offer.
[/quote]
The evidence of the Soviet autopsy, obviously
enough, came after Hitler>s death. The British
knew about this and had versified it long before
that.

James
Calce culum impegi

Andrew Swallow · Guest

James Hogg wrote:
[snip]

[quote]
The evidence of the Soviet autopsy, obviously
enough, came after Hitler>s death. The British
knew about this and had versified it long before
that.
[/quote]
The British women must have been working from photographs and
watching Hitler live at the rallies.

Andrew Swallow

James Hogg · Guest

On Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:23:33 +0000, Andrew Swallow
<am.swallow@btinternet.com> wrote:

[quote]James Hogg wrote:
[snip]

The evidence of the Soviet autopsy, obviously
enough, came after Hitler>s death. The British
knew about this and had versified it long before
that.
[/quote]
By the way, I really meant "versified", not "verified".

[quote]The British women must have been working from photographs and
watching Hitler live at the rallies.
[/quote]
They noticed that he leaned slightly to one side. He dressed to
the right, of course.

James


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